So it's 4:33 am as I am writing this and I am up for no reason... then again I know why I am up.
You see I'm at that same point I was at back in May 2007 . It is the week of an upcoming deployment and as much as I want to focus on work and everything else I can't. I feel like I have the weight of the world on me and it's not gonna go away until this is over. I do have to say though that minus the constant worrying, wanting to throw up from fear of the unknown every time your doorbell rings, and no nookie for a year a deployment isn't really that bad.
I always tell wives getting ready to go through their first deployment that the hardest part will be the week he leaves and the night of the day he leaves.
Everything we do this week I have to remember we won't get a chance next week to do.
I know it will be our last whatever's for a year. For instance last night I didn't feel like cooking so I called hubby and we were deciding what we wanted to order in for dinner and hubby wanted pizza and I wanted sushi and normally we would have just got both, but I knew that this would be the last time this week we got to eat pizza together as a family for a year.
Who would think that pizza would mean so much?
At the end of the day I know I am strong...I can get through this....I survived 15 months of this crap...I can most definitely survive a measly 12 months right?
Well stay tuned we shall see.
I feel your pain. I'm almost at month 7 now. It doesn't get much easier either. Hang in there.
ReplyDelete